Conflicts: As the one person to help your mom the most, you get to see both her good and bad sides.
Most of the time, she’s agreeable. However, there are days when she’s in a foul mood and will not work with you creating conflicts. What do you do on the days your mom is being difficult?
Ask Her What’s Bothering Her
Why not ask her if something is wrong? After a horrible night’s sleep, your mom is exhausted, and that’s making her cranky. Her doctor called with news regarding test results that were concerning. She may have fought with a friend. All of this will understandably impact her mood.
Make Sure She’s Okay
If your mom says nothing is wrong. There still could be an underlying issue. When an older adult has a urinary tract infection, irritability is one of the signs. If she hurt herself, the pain may make her lash out at others. If she’s feeling sick, it can also make her temperamental.
Be Honest With Her
Have you tried being honest with your mom? Let her know that you really want to help her, but her attitude is making it complicated. You need to understand why she doesn’t want to do something or why she’s argumentative.
She may not realize that you’re doing your best and need her cooperation. Sometimes, it’s hard to parent your parent, and it’s just as hard for her to let you help out. That frustration with getting older can spill out and affect others from time to time.
Talk to Other Close Family Members
Talk to others in the family to see if they experience the same difficulties. If your brother stops by to help her, is she cooperative or just as disagreeable with him? If she’s fine with him, it may be time to switch care duties. She eats what he cooks, so take over one of his chores and let him take over the cooking.
Conflicts: Find Out More About Respite Care Services
Sometimes, it’s better to walk away for a day or two. Respite care is a temporary service where someone takes over helping for a few hours, days, or weeks. Use it to go on vacation, have a day off, or run errands.
Hire senior care aides to help your mom. Take a break and de-stress from the conflicts. When you return to your mom feeling refreshed and invigorated, your mood may transfer to her. You’ll both be in happier moods and ready to work together again.